The Next Chapter

So, I know I'm really bad at updating my blog, and I know this is supposed to be about Oleysia, but since she said no to being adopted, I really don't know what's next in our relationship with her.

But, since I don't really have news on her or anything I'm going to tell you a little about my new brother, Elijah. He's a sweet boy, but it's hard. He's a stranger living in our house. This is by far the hardest thing our family has ever gone through. I can't really explain, because you have to go through it to truly understand. And that's Ok, we don't need people to understand, just care.

So, I'm having issues, with being lonely, overwhelmed, and just having a hard time bonding with him. He does stuff that is kinda like, "Why in the world would you do that?" And I know, he's had four years without a family and parents to guide him, but it still stinks at times.

It's also hard because right now we're not a family to him. He's only four, he doesn't know what a "family" is. He doesn't like us kids. He wants Mommy and Daddy to himslef and the competition to go away. To him, since he hasn't really attached to us yet, we're just another orphanage with only two nannies and 7 other kids. To him "Mommy and Daddy" is just another name. They could be "Red and Blue" and it'd probably have the same meaning to him right now.

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I know it's going to take time, and I'm Ok with that, that doesn't mean It's any less harder, but I'm ok.

This is our new normal.

She Said No...

So.A few weeks ago, we asked Oleysia if she would like to be adopted. Her answer was. "No, she would like to be hosted next summer but not adopted." I don't think she fully understood that it cost money to host. I don't think she understood that if she said no, that was it. Well, it is. Unless we somehow cross paths in the future, I am never seeing her again. When she said no, I felt angry, hurt and used. I felt like she used me and my family for a good time in the summer.  I now understand a little more why she said no. She loves her country and her sisters. I can understand that. I also think deep down inside she thought that we'd move to Latvia. At least, I know that's what she wants. She loves us, but she loves her sisters, who's she's known her whole life. I mean, what would you do if someone asked you to leave your country, your friends, and your little family? Even though you'd have a family, it'd be hard.

I'm still a little unsure what to do. Should I interact with her on Facebook, or just drop our relationship? I sent her a message on Facebook when she first said no, saying I loved her and missed her and filled her in on everyday life here. Maybe I'll see her in the future. Maybe not. but she's still my sister even if she's not here.

~~Oleysia~~

December

Hi! Sorry its been such a long time :) A LOT has been going on. Yes, they came! I can say it was nothing like I expected. We had news after Oleysia left that one of her two sisters, Katja, had to come.

At first I thought everything would be fine, Katja would also fall in love with us and we'd live happily ever after. No. The first day was hard, in the summer Oleysia would follow me every where, she was always downstairs with us, playing games or whatever. In December Oleysia followed Katja every where, and Katja was in her bedroom most of the first week. Most of the time she was sleeping because of the time difference. She hadnt slept two nights before she boarded the plane in Latvia and didnt sleep at all on the plane. But other times she was crying for her friends, her boyfriends, her counrty, and scared. Scared of us and America. Oleysia was torn. She wanted to be with us but she also wanted to please Katja.  She stayed with Katja and she tried to comfort Katja. So that was the first week, pretty much, besides me crying my eyes out, feeling left out, hurt and confused.

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The seccond week was much harder. We went out for a girls day. Me, my mom, my two biological sisters and Oleysia and Katja. We went shopping and went out to lunch. It was great! I felt like I had my sister back. The real Oleysia. Then as we were going home we broke down and had complications, lol. After a while we were able to get home and have our girls night! The boys were spending the night at my grandparents house. But Katja was allowed on the computer and saw pictures of her boyfriend and started sobbing in her room. Then Oleysia did the same. My mom went up to talk to them and comfort them. Oleysia told my mom that she would never want to live in America. That hurt. In the summer she had even told me that she wanted to live with us for forever and ever. I spent most of that night crying and still confused.

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The rest of that week Oleysia and Katja loosened up a bit and were downstairs more and less crying from everyone. It was still difficult, since we did not have Oleysia in our house. She was so different then the girl we had in the summer.

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For the most part Katja stayed on the computer from 11 am to 6 pm, chatting with friends, skyping and putting pictures on her social site. That way Oleysia would be with us, otherwise she would decide to go with Katja in her room.

We would have a blast at night but in the morning we had setbacks. She would get shy again and wouldn't talk to us much. It was like this most days until the last days. Even though it still wasn't the same girl, it was so much better then the first weeks. She would play with us, snuggle with the little kids, laugh with me and Abby, and play Nerf wars with us :) But it was also hard for her, she was scared of going home and I think she really wants to be here. She has a choice. I hard choice. Staying in her home country, with her sisters and friends or a loving family in America. Thats a scary choice for anyone, especially a 13 year old girl.

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